First off let me say that I never blog at night, especially after 11. But it’s currently 12:03. My spirit is just so stirred. I’m not stressed. This isn’t one of those times. By the way, it’s been really cool to see how the Lord has been working just in the last week. He really has been showing me how much greater He is than my agenda and plans. But the reason I’m stirred is because of some things at 8th Street tonight.
First, a song that will be played at Mr. Bierman and my wedding was played tonight at 8th Street, and I didn’t cry. This is a really big accomplishment because every other time I’ve heard it I have sobbed. It’s not because I’m sad, but it just reminds me of how great this marriage thing is! I just get so overwhelmed with emotion and picture myself walking down the aisle toward Josh and then think about what this marriage symbolizes (Christ and the church) and I get really worked up and sob. I fully realize that was an insanely long run-on sentence, but it just had to be done. Back story about the whole crying thing: since Josh and I chose the songs, I’ve been listening to them occasionally so I can cry it out. Basically, I listen to them when I’m alone in the car, and every time I’ve sobbed. My thought behind this is that I want to listen to them and cry enough that when May 12th arrives I may be able to make it down the aisle without sobbing the whole way and ruining my makeup/dignity. So…not crying tonight was a HUGE accomplishment not only because of the lack of tears, but also because tonight the song was sung by the two awesome people who will be singing it in our wedding AND we were sitting in the back of the church where we’ll be getting married.
Next, this song- “One Thing Remains” rocked my world. Particularly these lyrics:
higher than the mountains that I face
stronger than the power of the grave
constant in the trials and the change
this one thing remains
If you’ve been reading Miraculous Maze for while, you know that it refers to Josh and I dealing with the change/uncertainty lying before us. This song just hit me head on, especially the “constant in the trials and the change” part. When I look ahead to the next couple of months, pretty much all I see is change. I’ll be alumni. New last name. New city (possibly). New lifestyle. New friends (of course, not replacing our old friends). This newness is part of life, and I’m so excited for it. However, I am also an only child from a small town in Alabama. New to me is the Piggly Wiggly getting a new sign! What I’m feeling right now is similar to what you feel when you go to college as a freshman. You know, there are the butterflies because everyone tells you that it’s going to be so great and fun and you’ll meet your best friends, but you’re also just nervous/scared because it’s not what you’re used to. I am just so comforted that God’s love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me. His love is HIGHER than the mountains that I face, STRONGER than the power of the grave, CONSTANT in the trails and the change. It overcomes the grave! Will it not overcome my timidity in change?! Of course it will, and I am beyond thankful for the reminder that our God is Father, and He cares for us and works all things for our good. Though I may not see what’s going on right now, I can rest in that He is constant and is working out His plan!
The next thing the Lord hit me with tonight was with this song by the lovely Hillsong. “All I Need is You.” Is that true of me? That’s all I could think of while they sang this song. I am so challenged and stirred. I’m singing this song, “All I need is you. All I need is you Lord,” but if in 5 months Josh and I don’t have a plan, jobs, etc. will I still be singing that? Will I still be saying, “Lord, you are all I need?” I pray that is will be so. Tonight I was just overwhelmed with how grand our God is. No only is His love conquering (as previously discussed), but He is more than sufficient. He’s all I need. Notice what the lyrics DON’T say. They DON’T say, “All I need is You….and a job.” Or “All I need is You…and a boyfriend.” or even “All I need is You… a health.” It’s solely Jesus. My prayer is that my heart will continue to scream that He is all I need. No matter what my relationship status is. Or my employment status. Or my social status. May it ever be that Jesus is all I need.