Girls, Chill Out

I really didn’t know what I wanted to blog about today. There’s the whole Trayvon Martin deal, but I think enough people are talking about that. There’s our pending marriage, but I’ve talked about that a good bit. There will be plenty more to talk about later on. So I’m going to choose one of my favorite topics: dating. Girls, get ready because I’m probably about to step on some of your toes. Guys, get ready because for once it’s not all going to be your fault. However, remember that the majority of the time it is your fault. (Kidding, of course) Let’s begin:

A date. Why does that freak so many of you girls out? I’ve been in these circles. I’ve talked with you about boys. The majority of you are boy crazy. While you would NEVER admit it, let’s go through a boy crazy test.

1. Do you think about what it would be like to have a boyfriend more than once a week?

2. Do you have “crushes” on more than one guy? Aka your heart speeds up when you’re around him?

3. Does your heart yearn for some guy to ask you to a fraternity function even though you’re “so over frat parties”?

4. Do you talk about guys with your roommates or friends every day?

If you’ve answered yes to all four of these questions you are, in fact, boy crazy. For those of you who answered yes to 2-3, don’t fool yourselves. You’re boy crazy too. Now that that’s established, let’s move to my point: You guys sit around a talk about guys, think about guys, want to be around guys but when one asks you on a date it’s like the heavens and earth collide! All you’ve wanted, even though you’d never admit it, is to go on a date. But now when a guy FINALLY gets the courage up to ask you, you have to call your mom, talk to ALL of your friends, pray and fast for a week, make pro/con lists and sometimes even talk to his friends to “see what he’s thinking.” STOP IT. I will say it again, STOP IT.

By no means do I claim to be a dating expert. I definitely made some mistakes and fell into the same traps you did. However, I can look back and see those traps and I’m begging you to not go that route. Here is my dating advice: Go on the date. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure a single date doesn’t mean he’s proposing marriage. {Note: If you are 100 percent, absolutely positively without a doubt positive that he is NOT the one. Zero romantic interest at all. Ever. Then please say no. But if there’s a chance, one date won’t hurt.}

We’ve been wrapped into the hyper-spiritual phenomenon where a single date has now been turned into this MAJOR life decision. I am not saying that you shouldn’t pray over your decisions, relationships, etc. However, I really don’t think a first date requires a weeklong time of fasting and praying. It is ONE date. Girls, stop thinking that you are SO perfect and flawless and lovable that by going on one date with this guy that he will fall in love with you. And then you’ll have to break it off and his life will be ruined. He’s a big boy now. He’s a man. He’s asking you on a date knowing that there’s a chance it won’t work out. You won’t ruin his life by saying no to a second date. And if his life is ruined by this, then good thing you didn’t go on a second date.

On to my final point. Know how it feels to ask a guy to formal? Know that pit in your stomach, could barf feeling? You’re nervous that he might say no. Or that he won’t like you. Or that it could be awkward. Well, now imagine that it’s not just a single night of dancing with lots of friends and it is just the two of you doing things that YOU plan and pay for. That’s what guys go through. We think it is SO painful to ask guys to be our dates, but what if you had to ask them on REAL dates? See what they have to go through? Realize that they have it rough. I know I would HATE having to be the one to initiate everything: the first date, the “I like you” talk, the “Are we bf/gf?” talk, the first kiss, etc. It’s hard. Cut them some slack. I’ve heard people complain about dinner and a movie. What do you propose? What exactly is there in Auburn? Dinner and bowling? Dinner and a walk? Trust me. He’s nervous enough because you’re pretty and you smell nice. Him taking you on a date is big deal. Don’t complain to your friends because he took you to Olive Garden instead of Provinos. It’s spaghetti. Get over it.

In conclusion, chill out. Quit putting so much pressure on yourselves and him. Go on the date. Be yourself. Remember that he’s put a lot of thought and time into this. He’s had to work up the courage to ask you. And even driving to get you, he’s having to build up the courage. Remember, you are pretty. That instantly grabs him. But also remember, he’s an adult. He knows it’s a first date, not marriage. Girls, just chill out.

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One thought on “Girls, Chill Out

  1. Pingback: Ladies, Let’s Take a Stand « Miraculous Maze

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